*name was changed to protect privacy
Got this email today:
Hey,
My name is [Redacted]… I’m from Austin, TX.
Been googling limerance for a while now to get my mind of this girl. I see you had bouts with this “limerance”… I on the other hand am currently in the vortex of complete and total limerance.
What I’m trying to do now is forget/or cure myself from this awful position I find myself in. I suspect she’s humoring me when she talks to me… as she doesn’t want to let me down badly.
Been out with her once (been talking to her for over a month prior to our first date)… then asked her out again… she declined… tried again a week later… she accepted!! Then declined an hour and half before our date… She still speaks to me, but I can see in her eyes it pains her when I ask her out. She doesn’t want to dissapoint me.
Feel free to respond if you choose… but, I’m really writing this to try and keep my mind off her. It’s working a little until I reach the end of this email.
Rats.
[Redacted]
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My response…
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Hey [Redacted]!!
I understand you completely—my guy did the same thing to me—accept an offer, decline, accept, decline. More often than not these people do like you, but for some reason feel a relationship wouldn’t work. Trust them, and move on until you find someone that’s just as crazy about you as you are them.
And don’t take her acceptance as a sign she’s “coming around.” In my experience, a limerant relationship never turns into a successful romance.
Good luck, and thanks so much for writing!
Erin
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He wrote back an hour later…
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You are too cool for responding.
Your advice is clear and to the point… which is what i need.
I’m gonna try to take things one day at a time.
First thing I’m going to try and do is not call her (not so I can get her to call me back — but, cause I’m trying to get my life back)… I’m positive she won’t call me anyways, as she only talks to me when I call.
So….here goes nothing…
[Redacted]
