My NYE in a nutshell: Dirty shoes.

How did I get my dirty shoes?

10PM: Ready to hit the road. Waiting on friends to arrive via a black cab they had to fight for in Harlem.

10:15PM: Still waiting for friends to arrive. Down two glasses of wine.

10:25PM: Friends call. Waiting outside in black cab. Had to barter for a $25 ride to Murray Hill. Take a double shot of Bacardi rum.

10:30PM: In black cab with Mario (see picture above). Mario races cars on Lexington Avenue, blasts the music, and has the best NYE cab clients of his life.

10:40PM: Arrive at Murray Hill apartment party.

11:40PM: Deep into conversation with boy at Murray Hill party. Enjoying it. Wondering if said boy will kiss me at midnight.

11:59:50PM: The countdown begins.

MIDNIGHT: No kiss. I’m not kissing him.

12:10AM: Friends want to go to Brooklyn for rave house party. Friends call cab driver Mario.

12:20AM: Debating whether to go to BK; having good time with said boy still.

12:25AM: After having two vodka tonics, with said boy in kitchen. Give him glass of champagne found in kitchen.

12:30AM: After exchanging numbers and deciding to head to Brooklyn, friends get me to leave.

12:31AM: As leaving and while still in kitchen with said boy, randomly decide to kiss him. Say before doing so, “Here’s the midnight kiss we should have had.” Kiss said boy. It’s all a blur.

12:45AM: Connect with boy over text message. Doesn’t seem too phased by erratic kiss (flash forward to now: So embarrassed I did that. Not anticipating any calls from said boy.)

1AM: Arrive in Brooklyn. Cab driver can’t find apartment. Have to ask pedestrians on street for directions.

1:04AM: Pass Graham Street subway stop off L; know we are in the right neighborhood. Try to find warehouse for party.

1:10AM: Successfully find warehouse (actually an apartment building — but was certainly some warehouse/meat slaughtering factory before the gentrification angel swept through).

1:15AM: Find bathroom. Use.

1:17AM: Hang vintage cheetah coat and gloves in coat room. Will manage to retrieve coat by end of night, but forget gloves.

1:20AM: Begin dancing. Hard. See picture above Mario.

1:20-3AM: Dance dance dance dance. Find gay man (or gay man finds me?) and twirl, spin, break it down.

3AM: Friends go to leave. Blurred memory tells me gay man was sad to see me go. Was he straight? I remember him dancing like a gay guy.

3:05AM: WTF? Where are my friends? They leave warehouse without me.

3:06AM: Frantically call friends. Proves difficult to call in speedy fashion with shitty touchscreen Blackberry Storm.

3:06AM: Reach friends. “Don’t leave without me!” I say. I do not want to be trapped in Brooklyn with said above gay man. What happened to Murray Hill boy?

3:07AM: Retrieve coat. Forget gloves.

3:07AM: Leave warehouse party. See friends at cab. How we found another cab, on NYE, I have no idea.

3:07-3:30AM: Rack up $23 cab ride from Brooklyn to Harlem.

3:30AM: Toss sleeping friends in back of cab a $20. Enter building.

3:30-4:30AM: Stay up with roommate’s friends. Eat cookies. Eat Fiber One crackers. Talk about life. My head is spinning.

4:30AM: Remove fake eyelashes.

4:31AM: Remove all clothes. Throw on floor. Die in bed.

3PM: After having slept successfully to 12:30PM, then not being able to sleep although wanting to, begin to clean up clothes from previous night. Find shoes above. Realize they are filthy.

NYE, in a nutshell.