Romantic relationships are hard. A juggling act, with both people working to balance one another.
And when the juggling act falls, it can be a total disaster.
I met my boyfriend back in high school, in the middle of my junior year. We attended his senior prom as friends, and we both felt it had been one of the most romantic nights of our young lives. But we both felt our friendship was more important than a relationship.
Fast forward two years to college. The friendship had blossomed into a relationship and the beginning was sweet and tender. Three months into the relationship, we both turned to our separate colleges and started a long distance relationship. Phone calls lasted for hours, and it felt as though nothing had changed.
It isn’t always perfect.
I sat on a bus today and cried in front of 30 people. I had just gotten off the phone with my boyfriend, having informed him that instead of having a day for the two of us, I was going to be working on an article for the next several days. My boyfriend hadn’t been as understanding as I hoped. His soft voice was filled with sadness.
“I miss you. I never see you. You put everything else before me.”
I was stunned. Was it true? Had I put all of my other priorities before our relationship? I thought about all of my other obligations, ranging from classes, work and an internship. I had been putting my heart and soul into all three. Was I forgetting about him?
I tried to tell my boyfriend the truth. The words stuck in my throat.
“I’m trying the best I can.”
I heard his soft voice reply. “No, you’re not.”
I pulled the phone away from my ear. For weeks I had been feeling lonely and stressed. Nagging guilt was eating me alive, and I was going to break down.
“I need to tell you the truth,” I told him. “You’re making me feel so guilty for things that are out of my control. I can’t help when obligations take priority, and you have to understand, I’m trying my best,” I said, my voice cracking just a bit.
I had been trying to hold back tears but when the tears finally came, I was met with silence. I checked my phone, but heard nothing.
Our phones had disconnected.
~Stacy Lipson
Philadelphia, PA
stacy.lipson@temple.edu
