There is an expresson that resonates with all of us at some point in our lives.
“I just want to crawl under a rock and disappear.”
But we can’t. Because we are the people we are, and no matter how big of a rock we find, our persona will always remain with the world.
In a sense, we can never change ourselves. Because until the world changes us, we are the same person we always were to begin with.
This is the problem I’m battling now. In branding myself, I’ve found that a brand name, i.e. “persona” is harder to get rid of than removing a tattoo. Once that brander hits the skin, it’s sizzling for life.
Personas can be the stereotypes we fall into. “Accidental” branding. We can be the tough guy. The tech nerd. The happy-go-lucky sorority girl. The melodramatic poet. The gym rat.
But then there are the personas which trap us. Which weren’t accidental. We reached for them, we obtained them and we succeeded. And then, when we wanted to take a break, we walked into barbed wire. The guards pointed their guns at us, demanding we return to our persona.
These guards are the people in our lives who expect us to live up to who we are and who we have been— and at one point in our lives, who we wanted to be. The barbed wire is our psyche, reminding us that we are living the dream. Why would we want to escape it?
Because the way you live isn’t always the way you want to live. Because no one truly wants to be the same person all their lives.
We live so we can have goals and reach them. From graduating high school, having a relationship, getting a good job and having kids— down to the nitty gritty of seeing a movie, going on vacation or saving up money for a new car. Life is full of wants. And with each want, we only want more.
But I want less. And in my persona, less is not more. Less is a letdown. Not only to the guards in my life, but the barbed wire which is my mind.
When have you wanted less? Email erinsammyawkward@gmail.com now.
*posted by Sammy D
