…but I really can’t because I think it’s the stupidest holiday, right behind Christmas, designed to either a) make people who are stag tomorrow feel bad about themselves, or b) cause people to fool themselves; “I must be in love” they’ll say, so they fit in and can buy one of those gross chocolates with the sick shit in the middle and give it to the person they supposedly love, who will then eat it and pretend that they love it because they think they’re supposed to but they really don’t because it tastes like shit*. So, instead, I recommend we all shove Barbies up our butts and be done with it.
*This weird analogy serves as a metaphor to love in general
