On Monday, January 14th, I will begin 5 months of the acne-curing drug ACCUTANE, or Isotretinoin.
This heavy duty drug supposedly treats and cures heavy duty acne. Forever.
After 5 months, I should have the rare pimple every now and then.
Only problem is, I don’t have heavy duty acne. And I’m about to take a heavy duty drug to treat what is considered mild in the pool of Accutane candidates.
While taking Accutane, I will most definitely have:
- Dry and chapped lips
- Extremely dry skin (flaky)
- Dry eyes, hair and nails
- Redness of the skin
I may also have the following side effects:
- Depression
- Difficulty sleeping // fatigue
- Loss of appetite // weight lose
- Soreness of the joints // muscles
- Acne flare ups
- Impaired night vision
And if things are really bad, I could contract the following from Accutane:
- Hepatitis
- Cataracts
- Optic Neuritis
- Menstrual disturbances
- Inflammatory bowel disease
- Pancreatitis
- Corneal opacities
- Papilloedema
- Idiopathic intracranial hypertension
- Skeletal hyperostosis
- Extraosseous calcification
I don’t even know what 3/4 of these mean. Am I going to die?
Am I going to die because I’m shallow; because I’m going on a drug for a condition that I may not truly have?
If I get pregnant, my child will be disfigured. Misshaped heads and body parts are the most frequent side effects in child birth. I will be forced to have an abortion.
The drug is as serious as getting a nose job. And I’m beginning to wonder whether I should just accept that crookedness as part of my quirks.
I want to be proud of my imperfection, and to realize that while I may not have Tyra Bank’s skin, there are worse disfigurements I could have.
There are burn victims. Women missing their breasts from radiation. Obese women. Women with cervical cancer who can never have children.
All I have is annoying acne that at age 22, I want to get rid of forever.
Believing in yourself is the most important thing. Should we turn to dangerous drugs to help us achieve this faith?
Check out the pictures above (before makeup and after) and send me a note at erinsammyawkward@gmail.com
