Dear Mr. Zuckerberg,
I wanted to update my Facebook status today, but was disappointed to see there is no “very single” status available. I recently changed my religious status to “very liberal,” and feel it represents me far better than simply “liberal”, as I shop only at American Apparel, refuse to buy anything from Starbucks, and rely solely on alt-weeklies for news. It is important for me that my profile is accurate — it is my preferred method of communication, and I see it less as a social networking site, and more an extension of my being. I belive the “very single” option would be a great addition to your site, as it would distinguish those of us who are more than just single, but are, in fact, very.
Sincerely,
AWKWARD