“We are constantly trying to measure up to what we think that person wants.”
1 hour and 3 minutes later, this is the line that resonated most with me long after hanging up the phone with my friend.
We hold on to our feelings because we think that over time, we can change. We can be the cool girl. She doesn’t need a title, she’s cool with online chats, she can hang out with her friends and you hang out with yours. She’s not needy, nor possessive, nor a drama queen.
But the guys never like her, and yet she thinks that eventually they will, because c’mon, the boy she loves talks to her everyday anyway. He sees her more often than she sees her actual girlfriends.
They’re practically together. It’s just a matter of time before it becomes official.
But time passes. And as time passes, the girl begins to feel increasingly worse about herself. As she feels shittier, she resorts to playing games with the boy. She gives him the cold shoulder so he’ll reach out to her. She’ll make out with a boy at a bar and “hope” he hears about it. She’ll tell him, “I’m so glad we’re friends,” when all she wants is girlfriend status on Facebook.
The girl begins to compare her self worth to his love for her. What can she do to bring the ratio higher? When he loves her more, she will love herself more, too.
We mold ourselves trying to measure up. But all we do is measure our love down, because we fail to see that it wasn’t there to begin with in the first place.
When have you changed to measure up for love? Tell us when, why and how at erinsammyawkward@gmail.com
