August 2008
37 posts
WatchWhen these wanna-be rappers start chanting, “It’s AWKWAARRRDDDDD,” I get shivers up my spine.
Sing it with me: “It’s AWKWARRRRRDDDDDDDD!”
The best part: These are boys singing about their feelings of insecurity. Gotta love ‘em. The first one isn’t THAT bad looking … ?
My Little Black Book →
If you need this to keep track of your sexual endeavours, you probably won’t need the STD test to know you have crabs.
For all you ESLers, get down with the slang yo →
dictionary.com Word of The Day//08.28.08
naif \nah-EEF; ny-, adjective:
1. Naive. 2. A naive or inexperienced person.
At my job, I feel like a naif interviewer. An imposter. Admittedly inexperienced in the medical world, and even more inexperienced in the working of male minds, working at Men’s Health combines my two lack of expertise. I hope I don’t get canned.
Girls just wanna bitch (sometimes)
Me: Maybe we could meet around 8 pm for some girl talk?
Carolyn: It might need to be 9, because I am dying from work this week. But girl talk is on tonight for sheezy.
Me: We'll touch base around 5 to see how deep the work waters are... looking forward to this. Ok if it turns into a bitch-fest?
Carolyn: I would be personally offended if it didn't.
Interview with Tumblr founder David Karp →
Q&A with Tumblr founder David Karp.
This girl is the dot, dotty dot dot NOT.
AWKWARD college roommate stories – everyone has one. The roommate who never cleans, lets her food go bad and has sex at all times of the day to the point it prevents you from bringing anyone into your room was pretty much what I experienced living on campus. This summer I was accepted into a four-week study abroad program through my university. Before applying for the month-long stay in Dublin,...
There's just no right way to tell your Dad about a...
*F you, Google.
Dad: You know the #1 cause of bladder infections? (shudder)
It's from sex ...
Me: Dad gross. I’m throwing up in my mouth, a little bit
Dad: Hey! You're an adult now ...
Me: it's ONE of the reasons
Dad: ... main reason
Photos make all books better...
EXCEPT medical dictionaries. Sick.
7:53AM: You are crazy :-/
In from Seven, our AWKWARD correspondent on the male-end down in Houston, Texas.
OK, you need to seriously post these texts I received from a girl last night. Another date gone wrong. These are all after the date. My phone was on silent and I was sleeping …
1:58AM: Sorry… Something horrible is going on outside my house. I could not get in …
2.13 AM: It got pretty bad, I...
Mix? Match? How about just wear - I'd be fine with...
I am not your typical female. Fashion bewilders me. My friends and family members all chide me for not having a fashion sense.
But I like my jeans and sneakers. Still, comfort is not professional.
For the past two days, I have trekked through H&M and New York and Company. My lack of fashion sense angered my sister, and confused the poor sales clerks in both stores.
When asked about what I...
“I do care, and he’s a confused man…….who doesn’t know...”
– Erin E to Sammy D, Gmail, August 19th @ 6:32AM
1 van + 2 lanes + a 20-something girl = 0 police
I used to have a clean driving record. Then again, I could write a novel about the things I used to have and do. I used to pee in my pants. I used to beat up my sister. I used to have hair past my ass that my mom wouldn’t let me cut off because she was afraid I’d lose my curl. So, from that standpoint, losing my immaculate driving record is just another rite of passage. My car, courtesy of my...
OK I admit it - some girls are crazy. 3 reasons...
Here at AWKWARD, we love men. Really, we do. And so, when a male reader writes to us with his AWKWARD experiences involving women, our ears perk up. We’re intrigued and we listen. And, after reading his experiences detailing the dating life that is Houston, Texas - we laugh — And a bit of us cries, too, because honestly … some girls are crazy.
Here’s 3 reasons why: Reason...
Slydial →
It’s happened to all of us. We have to tell someone something a bit uncomfortable, a bit unsettling, a bit … awkward. We call them [because meeting in person is just too much effort for these words] and secretly hope they don’t answer. Ring #1, ring #2, ring #3 … by ring #4 you think you’re in the clear.
SHIT. At ring #4, they answer. You’re not in the clear....
Dictionary.com word of the day // 8.14 // 8:00PM
LACKADAISICAL \lack-uh-DAY-zih-kuhl, adjective:
Lacking spirit or liveliness; showing lack of interest; languid; listless.
The bum on the 6 train this morning was so LACKADAISICAL. As the commuters crammed into the train beside him, he continued on in his nap - a 40 in his hand - as the woman in Brooks Brother sat down beside him.
“There’s something really tender and exciting about missing someone...”
– Carolyn Kylstra: I told her I like her because she always seems a bit sad. She took it as a compliment. We are going to be friends for life
A raging case of food poisoning
Under no circumstances is it a smart idea to order a salad from a bar named Beer Bellies.
Please don't suck my toes ... no, really ......
Of all the things in the world that I don’t understand, the most puzzling is the foot fetish.
It may not be the most puzzling, but still: feet are disgusting. I hate them. Especially mine.
What’s wrong with my feet? I’ll let the contents of my dresser speak for themselves. Mixed among my lotions, perfumes, hair products, and the like, a wandering eye sees Dr. Scholl’s For Her Cracked Skin Repair...
“This is my life right now, and this is what I’m going to make of it.”
– Gina Ryder to Sammy Davis, on the phone, approximately 11:55AM
Gas may be $4 a gallon ... but my sanity is worth...
An exciting event has recently occurred in my life. I have officially purchased my first motor vehicle. I am the proud owner of an emerald green 1995 Plymouth Neon Sport. Now, I italicize the “Sport” to place emphasis on the sheer impressiveness of this vehicle. My baby comes fully loaded with hand-crank windows, busted, bass-blown speakers and 4-cylanders banging out 2.0 liters fury!
...
“An artificial appropriation of different styles from different eras, the hipster...”
– Thanks, Adbusters.
I secretly want to be a hipster, but I’m too nice. Hipster girls = bitches about 97.8% of the time.
http://www.adbusters.org/magazine/79/hipster.html
Muse + The Streets = Meet the Mreets
An unlikely pairing
http://www.prefixmag.com/media/muse-the-streets/who-knows-who-mp3/20460/
dictionary.com Word of The Day//08.06.08
spoony \SPOO-nee, adjective:
1. Foolish; silly; excessively sentimental. 2. Foolishly or sentimentally in love.
I felt spoony saying it, and I sort of hated myself after, but like a bad hair day or dead car battery, it couldn’t be stopped. “You look like a Greek statue when you sleep,” I told him. “I love watching you sleep.”
HIV Talk: Not exactly an aphrodisiac
My awkward nature completely takes on a mind of its own when the more rugged sex is involved. For example, For example, my PERFECT dream boy and I were watching a movie, and one of the characters was HIV positive. I look at him and playfully ask, “Are you HIV positive?” This is fine as it’s obvious I’m in jokester mode.
But I proceeded to leap over the AWKWARD line. I...
“Alcohol is like love: The first kiss is magic, the second is intimate, the third...”
– From The Addicted Man, Men’s Health Magazine
Who wears short shorts? That guy I'm hooking up... →