July 2008
56 posts
“You can’t beat ‘em, Erin. You HAVE to join them”
– Sammy D. on making the 9 to 5 (er, 8 to 8) make you not want to slit your wrists and bleed all over your ergonomically correct key board
"Swifter, higher, stronger...flashier." Even...
“Someone should get Anthony Famiglietti and Gabe Jennings together at a running clinic. You could call their presentation “Running as Performance Art.”
—via Runner’s World
Made up word of the day:
Single + female = freemale
I own rights to my BOP: Birth order pay back
My name is Valerie, and I am a youngest child.
I like to wear my birth order proudly on my sleeve. After all, it proves to be rather convenient. I use it as an excuse. I don’t unload the dishwasher. I’m a youngest. Or perhaps Scrub the toilets? Who are you kidding? I’m a youngest! And yes, a majority of these excuses revolve around my disdain for cleaning.
But sometimes this youngest child badge...
Operator, will you please connect my call?
Romantic relationships are hard. A juggling act, with both people working to balance one another.
And when the juggling act falls, it can be a total disaster.
I met my boyfriend back in high school, in the middle of my junior year. We attended his senior prom as friends, and we both felt it had been one of the most romantic nights of our young lives. But we both felt our friendship was more...
“I now inhabit a life I don’t deserve, but we all walk this earth feeling we are...”
– NY Times writer and ex crack junkie David Carr, taken from his novel “The Night of the Gun”
“Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already...”
– Charles Schultz reminding us that petty worries fade
I will look back at this Facebook message in a...
Ugh
Between Marelle and You
Today at 6:39am
If you could call me when you’re awake I’d appreciate it. I’ve just had the most ridiculous night of my life (I think this has topped the night my phone was microwaved, my money was stolen, and I hooked up with a guy with a girlfriend). I had probably 45 minutes of sleep and I don’t think I’ll be sleeping anytime soon. Also...
Happiness isn't a warm gun ... but it sure ain't...
Erin E and Sammy D don’t front when they talk about their personal AWKWARD experiences.
Each day we struggle with comfortably being ourselves. At times, we can’t go with the flow because we are so caught up in defining a sense of [unattainable] perfection in the moment. We have AWKWARD encounters and situations, and we worry about our bodies, our friends, our family, our bank accounts and hell,...
Dictionary.com word of the day // 7.18 // 4:05PM
TATTERDEMALION \tat-uhr-dih-MAYL-yuhn; -MAY-lee-uhn, noun:
1. A person dressed in tattered or ragged clothing; a ragamuffin. 2. Tattered; ragged.
Mary Kate and Ashley both epitomized and (ironically) monetized the TATTERDEMALION look. Messy hair, baggy dresses, rough-around-the-edges boots and belts. They were tatterdemalionists at their finest.
*Editor’s note: Word-of-the-day for...
“Sometimes you have to go with their flow.”
– Jen
“The smell of male hair and skin makes women less tense, nervous, and negative,...”
– Ladies, smell a man. From Men’s Health, because, well, that’s all I read anymore
“New York City Transit will not implement an ad campaign to fight subway groping...”
– Jossip on NYC’s new advertisment campaign to stop groping
Pond's, you can kiss my white ass.
I’ve never personally felt the strains of racism, and in my heart I know I never will. I have always had the privilege, and now according to Pond’s “White Beauty” commercials airing in India [see below] the beauty of a Caucasian female of European descent.
My stomach is in knots watching these commercials. Two prominent beauty companies are supporting the idea that white...
Hangin' on Every Word You Say
I don’t know where to start. It hurts. He wouldn’t give me the courtesy of breaking up with me in person, give an explanation of why he was dumping me after he was soooo in love three days earlier, and then-as if my heart needed the last, final blow, he hung up on me. And after all that, plus one more hang up, I was still comforted by telling myself I’d see the loser again...
Throw 'dem rolls
In the past month, I’ve had more than my fair of awkward situations. From dripping ice cream on myself in New York City to falling over on the subway, I’ve experienced it all.
However, a recent experience in the Spring Garden section of Philadelphia was probably the most embarrassing of my adventures. Philadelphia is called the “City of Brotherly Love,” and people really want to show that.
As...
Your co-workers [won't] love this, but AWKWARD... →
Ever steal a cupcake from the office fridge? Forget to clean out your coffee mug? Put on makeup at your desk?
I do these things all the time, but apparently, the NY Times doesn’t like it.
Boo that.
What AWKWARD things do you do at work? Email us at now at erinsammyawkward@gmail.com
“The amount of attention women want is very specific. Not enough, and they will...”
– 10 Ways to Make Her Beg For More, Men’s Health
Ten Things No Grown Woman Should Have*
*According to a few good men
1. A security blanket: If you need a “blankie,” to feel secure, we can’t trust you’ll feel secure without it. And besides, we get jealous when you prefer to snuggle with that ratty thing rather than us.
2. Crumpled notes from friends in 6th grade: If you’ve saved it, chances are it’s from your BFF, who you’ll see tomorrow. Gross. Ditch the...
“Everything in moderation, including excess”
– Crazy Legs Conti, 11th ranked competitive eater
Eleven Ways to Lose a Boyfriend in 4 days...
Have sex, and then start crying, inexplicably, because you suddenly remembered something he said that made you feel weird two weeks ago, and want to rehash it. For some reason, you fancy this moment an appropriate one.
Inform him you’re penciling in aborting his unmade child—even though you haven’t missed a period yet.
Ask him to give you every last detail about his ex-girlfriend, and when he...
Top Reasons Why New York City Is AWKWARD to a girl...
Do you remember that song called “Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen)?” The guy dispenses unsolicited advice urging America’s youth to seize the day. He says, “Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard.” It seems to me that if people actually heeded his advice, Manhattan would be a desolate ghost town, and tumbleweed would blow across...
“In imagination she sailed over storied seas that wash the distant shining shores...”
– L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables
Who needs boyfriends? Ladies, go get a girlfriend. →
Dictionary.com word of the day // 7.7 // 5:31PM
GUSTATORY \GUS-tuh-tor-ee, adjective:
Of or pertaining to the sense of taste.
It was in its absence that my 5 senses escalated to high tensions within my gustatory glands - all I wanted, yearned and needed was that sweet taste on my tongue.
Women aren't that complicated. We're actually all... →
Ham, Cigarettes, and Fireworks
I’ve been somewhat of a wedding warrior this month—which has required traveling through various East Coast states. This whole driving-for-one-hour-and-being-in-a-different-state thing is a novel concept for me—growing up in Seattle it takes about five hours to get out of Washington state, but that’s a not-oft experienced because even then you’d find yourself in Idaho or Oregon, and sort of regret...
“After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and...”
– Unknown (via anordinarygirl
Love yourself. Love others. Lonely can be lovely, sometimes.
Lose Your Gut, Gain Cash →
—From Men’s Health
Passive Agressive Haiku//Dependency is so not hot
It’s the strangest thing Though your hand is touching mine Miss you, already
“In order to save money, I will just stop eating.”
– -Sammy D calculating her budget, 10:03AM, Sunday, July 6. In 3 weeks living in New York City, she’s spent $1,214.
