June 2008
68 posts
The economy ain't got nothin' on me
We live in a frightening time.
For most of us, gas was about less than half of what it is now when we got our licenses. When I got mine in 2002, it was about $1.40, or $25 at most to fill up my 16-gallon 1999 Toyota Camry tank. And we thought that was expensive.
Now, I have to worry about rising bread, dairy and rice prices. I can’t vacation past New Jersey, now that...
“Awkward is using the bathroom on the ground floor at home with the window open...”
– ~Anonymous reader
Dating by letters
I’ve had the most fruitless year when it comes to dating.
I’m calling it my dry spell; my granny days; my I literally-haven’t-had-sex-in-over-a-year-therefore-I-am-a-born-again-virgin days.
It’s sad, true, and I’m absolutely, 100 percent changing it starting last week.
I have started my own serial dating game: “Dating by letters.”
The idea is to date...
“They rushed down the street together, digging everything in the early way they...”
– On the Road by Jack Kerouac, published 1957
Facebook love face-off →
A bit exaggerated, but well played.
Dictionary.com word of the day // 6.26 // 7:42PM
COCKAIGNE \kah-KAYN, noun:
An imaginary land of ease and luxury.
Our understanding of Caribbean vacations is based on the COCKAIGNE illustrations of travel pamphlets, Orbitz.com and the NY Times Travel section.
Teaching my Mom to Gchat
Erin: That's excellent. It's a learning iprocess
Mom: What's an iprocess?
Erin: *process
Mom: What's *
Erin: Oh Mom
ASCII art--How do people do this? →
-from Wired.com
I'm using 62 percent of Gmail storage. Is that...
Visit settings to save time with keyboard shortcuts! You are currently using 4269 MB (62%) of your 6863 MB. Gmail view: standard | turn on chat | basic HTML Learn more ©2008 Google - Terms - Gmail Blog - Join the Gmail team - Google Home
Please clean up your sugar crystals in Hell.
As I stand in the middle of a half, self-destructing shift at a convenience store I have affectionately named “Hell,” I come to accept the sad, obvious truth: I am surrounded by idiots.
I work in a place I’d rather not name, because as shitty of a job as it is, I still need it, and the last thing I want is to lose it and have no shitty job to complain about.
My tasks at Hell are fairly simplistic...
“We’re f*cking entitled to take things personally. If we didn’t,...”
– ~Gmail thread, 6:33PM
The ABC's of [non] attraction.
I have a horribly AWKWARD tendency to become attracted to my male amigos. They’re all adorable in a cute best-closeted-gay-friend type of way, but I find that after a while I always find myself struggling with emotions of attraction and attachment.
One of my earlier (but definitely not earliest) endeavors that included a serious breach upon the laws of platonic friendship was spent with my good...
I'm not going to the chapel [yet].
I’m not a cynic; and some people might even call me a romantic. So it will come as a great shock to them when they find out that I have some real issues with weddings. It’s not that I have anything against marriage, but when I receive an embossed, cream-colored invitation in the mail, it’s a sign of many annoyances to follow. If you have ever felt like the only woman alive who hasn’t been...
My work on answerology.com
Sammy D update: She is an assistant editor of social media at Hearst Digital Media.
So yesterday, to familiarize herself with the Hearst Digital property answerology.com, she made up a profile and an identity not her own. And to the Q&A social community Web site, she posed the following 100 percent fabricated question:
[repeat: this is completely false]
POSTED 11:50AM, June 18th
QUESTION:...
I wonder...
…if PR practitioners with British accents have a higher success rate? Because I totally just got snookered by one…and I don’t even care. I just hope she calls me back.
Posted by Erin E
Dictionary.com word of the day // 6.18 // 10:02 AM
COGENT \KOH-juhnt, adjective:
Having the power to compel conviction; appealing to the mind or to reason; convincing.
In this uncertainty that is the start of a new life, I play *COGENT games with my mind to secure some mental reasoning and calm my fears.
*Not sure if this is the right usage. Anyone know?
“Intensity comes with great things.”
– *Erin E on the phone to Sammy D, sometime between 11-12PM, Tuesday June 17th.
Probably the worst workout pump-up mix*
*I really ought to choose something a little more uptempo. Maybe then I wouldn’t be in danger of not finishing Wednesday’s 5K in the alloted one-hour time slot…
1. “Down in a Hole” —Alice in Chains
2. “Nutshell” —Alice in Chains
3. “Rape me” —Nirvana
4. “Cast no Shadow (live)”—Oasis
5. “Jigsaw...
Great works of literature as text messages
From Esquire
My favorite: the text message take away on ‘Catcher In the Rye’
“U R all phonies, except my lil sis and ded bro :(“
Harvard grads know how to take the pill
A survey revealed that twenty alumni (1.3 percent) have a net worth over $10 million, with another eight worth more than $5 million. About 2.5 percent pulled in at least $500,000 in annual salary, and another 14 percent earn more than $150,000. (Thirty-seven percent make under $50,000 and 16 percent have no salary, but grad school can most likely be blamed for that.) Thirteen percent have had more...
Let's talk about my sex.
I see him across the room. Tall. Dark. Handsome. Crooked smile. I play a game of random glances, and I let him catch me. I act like I’m going up to talk to him, but keep walking – reaching up to tug his tie as I walk by. Fast forward two hours. We’re making out in front of my apartment building. We’re groping on the stoop. We’re doing a bit more than making out against a table in the entryway....
& AWKWARD & →
**Thanks to Sean Blanda
hickey
brooklet14:
I burnt my neck with a curling iron two days ago and it seared this perfect little pink dot on my neck that looks exactly like a hickey.
I’m not really that concerned about it other than the fact that it hurts like a bitch. And how bad does it look that my fiancee is out of town and I’m walking around with this on my neck? Not so good. Plus, who gets/gives a hickey at my age...
"...we can watch this movie anytime, I'd be...
We don’t go too deep
Treading in shallow waters
Two inches, we drown
Can boys even get their bikini waxed?
Amanda: So, my friend's dating this guy. He's a little weird.
Erin: How so?
Amanda: Well, she told me he paints his toenails white and got a bikini wax.
Boy Feelings? Can't do it
So I have this problem. Well…I have multiple problems, particularly in the field of the opposite sex, but there’s one that I think amuses most of my friends, and seriously frustrates me. Feelings. I can’t handle them. Mine I deal with regularly. I’ve gone through depression on more than one occasion so I know what my feelings are like. But other people’s...
True Life AWKWARD: I was a promzilla.
If there’s ever a more AWKWARD time in one’s teenage years than those upperclassmen dances, then I didn’t experience it. So much drama accompanied those times in my life, that it was almost a sigh of relief once it was over with. I’m not unattractive or undateable, but my luck in getting a date was horrible in prom situations. So much so, that when I brought home my new boyfriend freshmen year...
Is this why people blog?
“People are lonely and they want to feel connected…connected to other people, to the world at large, and to their own internal narratives of grievance and desire.”
-Rachel Mosteller, The Huffington Post
Dictionary.com word of the day // 6.10 // 8:59AM
SURFEIT \SUR-fit, noun:
1. An excessive amount or supply. 2. Overindulgence, as in food or drink. 3. Disgust caused by overindulgence or excess. 4. To feed or supply to excess.
At the Indian food buffet in West Philadelphia, Erin E and Sammy D gorged themselves in SURFEIT amounts to the point of comatose. Then they went to a used book store and read Chuck Klosterman out loud in a bar.
Your essence, in seven words
Why say a lot of words when you can say, oh, seven? Smith Magazine started the celebration of pertinent pithy by calling out for six-word memoirs from their readers. Next up, the Webby Awards are also hosting a celebration of brevity with their 5-word-only mandate for acceptance speeches. So AWKWARD is picking up the baton and asking you to please submit to us your essence, in seven words. And, as...
Josh Duhamel probably fancies me a douchebag
I met Josh Duhamel last night on Bleeker and LaFayette. It went something like this.
Me: Hey, you’re Josh Duhamel
JD: Yes.
Me: What up Josh Duhamel?
JD:…
Me: I’m a huge fan of your work…
Then I shake his hand, and run away. Well played, Hicks. Well played.
Boyfriend Material
With the opening of ‘Iron Man’ and the soon summer release of ‘The Hulk’, I got to thinking…jeeze, a superhero would make a really bad boyfriend because… 1. Their busy job would mean you can’t count on a timely arrival to dinner. Or a movie. Or your apartment for a romantic game of Scrabble. 2. …And, they always have a good excuse for their tardiness. Like saving babies and whales or some...
AWKWARDgirls77 on TWITTER →
AWKWARD is on Twitter. Follow us, twit us, tweet us, twaught us.
Erin E and Sammy D will log their awkward experiences, musings and observations in REAL TIME. Twit that!
Dictionary.com word of the day // 6.5 // 8:52AM
TREMULOUS \TREM-yuh-luhs, adjective:
1. Shaking; shivering; quivering; as, a tremulous motion of the hand or the lips; the tremulous leaf of the poplar. 2. Affected with fear or timidity; trembling.
In Victorian literature [read: circa Jane Austen and Mary Shelly] the female heroines often suffered from TREMULOUS shivers. Me? I would have just shook - shook ‘em up and beat ‘em...
Hello, I love you Vaseline
Evil-looking eyelash curlers, hair gel that sticks to your fingers, and shimmer cream that makes you look more sweaty than sultry — ugh! Who has time for such AWKWARD beauty products? Chances are, you probably already have a miracle product sitting right in your medicine cabinet — Vaseline! This multi-purpose tub o’ wonder does magic for eyes, lips, skin and hair. Simplify your beauty regimen and...